Dear Wacktastic: The Office Survival Guide

Dear Wacktastic,
My coworker microwaves fish in the office kitchen. Every. Single. Day. How do I stop this olfactory assault on humanity?
— Nauseous in Accounting

Dear Nauseous in Accounting,
Microwaving fish in an office kitchen is a crime punishable by passive-aggressive glances and loudly muttered comments. Here’s your plan: begin a guerrilla campaign of microwave mischief. Replace the office microwave’s power cord with one that leads nowhere, or plaster the microwave with signs that say, “Microwave has become self-aware. No fish, please. It makes it angry.”

Alternatively, bring in a fan, point it directly at their lunch, and whisper, “Let the winds of karma take care of this,” while you stand majestically, cape optional. Either way, you’ll assert dominance and protect the noses of all who dare enter the break room.